one month post Open Heart Surgery

On sept 16th I had my 6th OHS. We arrived early, spent about an hour prepping at the hospital before I was take back. I remember walking into a sterile silver room with everyone wearing purple scrubs and laying down on a table. We were told it would be 6-8 hours but it ended up being 9and some change. The first thing I remember is hearing voices and flashes of people faces. I was told they would pull the breathing tube before I woke up but that didn't happen. Waking up with the breathing tube felt like I was suffocating.  I couldn't breath and couldn't talk. Then they strapped my arms to the bed because I was panicking and tried pulling the tube out. During this time I was in and out of sedated fever nightmares where waking wasnt any better. I could hear parts of conversations but not really understand. While trapped in my mind i questioned why they were letting me suffocate. I thought about how we decided i would not be put on a ventilator and here i was waking with a tube to breath. I had alot of dark thoughts during this time. Ontop of it all being strapped to the bed flared my sensory issues and added to my panic. They told Brandon I had air around  my lungs and would need a tube they called a pigtail inserted between my ribs to let the air out. Once that was inserted they were finally able to remove the breathing tube. Once I could talk I was able to convince the nurses to unstrap my hands by informing them of the sensory issues I was struggling with.
In between meds I was able to have short conversations but struggled to stay awake that first day.
The rest of the days were a blur of thoughtful visits from friends, changing rooms 3 times, getting a sore throat from forced air, going on walks around the floor and having various tubes and wires being pulled strategically. I had a variety of nurses who for the majority were very helpful and tentative and one or two who should not have even been there.

I didn't have much of an appetite until maybe the 4th or 5th day and it took a few weeks for me to eat full meals again. 
After 5 days I had met all my goals and was cleared to go home on Sept 21st.

Sleeping was not very restful in hospital or at home. Even with meds I was in pain and ached everywhere. It took me almost two weeks before I could semi comfortably sleep on my side and it still aches a bit but im actually getting good sleep. 

A big year coming

Over the last year i have done a few tests. we did the annual echo, i did a lung function test, a cardiac event monitor and a liver scan followed by an appointment with my cardiologist. he asked about how i was feeling because the test a showing major signs of need for intervention due to the fact that my liver is not filtering properly because i have two valves that are not doing their job . then the day after the dr visit i lost my job and health insurace. talk about stress. he nwants me to do another lung function, an mri, an echo and something else i just cant think of it but those are kind of on hold while i wait for approval to be added to insurance.